Lost in Code; Looking for Love

This is a short essay I wrote a few years ago first for the HCC student news paper "The Catalyst for Democracy"

Lost in Code; Looking for Love

By Bett

So, you were busy googling and designing the objects for your new Everquest map that you didn't realize till just now that you need someone to love? Well, then you reading the right article.

First you need to identify the problem: You want someone to blame when you run out of toilet paper, someone to snuggle up to at night, someone who will love you even when you have morning breath.

Next, you need to first develop Requirements for the person you will love. Your love must have a compatible personality. If you are obstinate, then your love must be submissive, and so on. If you enjoy bowling, your love must also enjoy bowling. If you love to sit on the couch and eat hamburgers while soaking up the tube rays, then loving a former Olympic athlete probably won't work.

Don’t expect the person you love to reform you AS SEEN ON TV. It doesn't happen in real life. Only You can change your self, no one else. You must become the person you want to be, and you might want to get on that right now so when you finally do meet the right person, you’ll be ready.

Once you find a person, then you need to Test.

Don't date. It’s artificial and stupid. Go out with them, and be yourself. Why would you want to impress the person, and set their expectations higher than reality? If you buy flowers for them on the first date, they will expect them ten years into marriage. Just be your self. If you want to be the kind of person who gives flowers, then become that person, but don’t fake it. If your love interest can't handle who you are now, they won't handle who you are in 15 years either.

Once they past the test of your true personality (you may need to test out several people, before you find the one who accepts you as you are), then you are ready to Integrate them into your life. Secure their hand in marriage, and start your life off together.  Integration takes a few years, and is often difficult. But stick in there, because its worth it.

The most important part of the relationship lifecycle is Maintenance. Once you get fully integrated, you need to keep strong communications channels open. Show love and respect to your love, and they will stay your love for years to come.